Someone asked me, “How has your development been different since you’re fatherless? How has it affected you?” It really took me by surprise because I thought I got passed that question being asked of me. I thought about. I gave the person a very analytical response without any emotion or real sense of involvement within the situation. Nearly a stoic response.
But I sit here now thinking of that awful question.
I want to cry. I want to do absolutely nothing. I don’t even want to sleep. I just want someone, a man, to sit here with me telling me ‘you’re okay. you’re worthy. you’re beautiful.’ holding me tight and being a support. Never going to happen. Never has happened. And its a sad story.
I love even when I tell someone straight to their face with tears running down my face, “Don’t do *this* to me”, they do it again within hours of you telling them not to! I’m over being part of something that literally rips me apart.